And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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