I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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