Dual....:-)
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
