gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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