is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
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