I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
