You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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