They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
