that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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