kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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