and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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