when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
