My friends, they love my intelligence
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Blood and glitter go together right?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
