Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Text me some of your sweat
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize