so let's talk penis.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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