I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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