the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
