That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm gonna have a badass scar
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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