He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
