I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
