He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
