the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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