Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
