I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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