You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
