My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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