i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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