party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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