Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
