yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Even my vagina gasped.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
