I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Holy shit dude........stairs
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
