True but thats because hes a fetus.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
