She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
this will be a night to untag.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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