my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
