Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
