maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
