Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
