We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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