dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I am midnight drunk by noon
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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