Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
