I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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