i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
