She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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