I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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