haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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