the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Randomize
