WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
