the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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