perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
