He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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