One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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